Some Really Eerie Similarites and Lessons I've Learned About Life

My oldest daughter Audra.

• My daughter is 18 years old. 
• She looks something like me.
• She doesn't like running.
• She has seriously considered choosing mathematics as her college major.
• She works in our town's public library.
• She is going to her senior ball (which is tomorrow night) with a young man named Steven.
• She and her date (along with their group of friends) are going out to dinner before the ball at a restaurant in Bushnell's Basin.

When I found out that last one, I thought to myself, "Please do not tell me that it is Richardson's Canal House." (It still exists...I checked)

"What is the name of it?" I casually asked.

"Branca's," she said.

I really felt a sense of relief hearing that. Keep in mind that my daughter knows absolutely nothing about my own dating history. No names, dates, restaurants, etc.

The only thing she knows is that I worked at the public library in my home town too, I did my undergrad in math, I'm not a runner,...and that people say she looks like me. 

She does not really want to be like me at all. She says she will NEVER become a librarian.

She will be going off to college in Indiana in the fall. I am praying that she transitions well to college life, that she will never encounter the serious trouble with major depression that I experienced during my sophomore year (my first year at a college away from home). I don't think I could bear seeing my daughter go through that.

If she ever does go through that, she will know that depression is a medical condition that she is not at fault for. She will know that she can get medical intervention. These are all things that I did not understand all of those years ago. No one understood. I was pretty much on my own with it. My entire life was turned upside down that year and I experienced my greatest heartbreaks, losses, and pain...all because of major depression. It took me approximately two years to recover physically from it...but many more years to recover emotionally. I also know that the Lord planned all of it and that He was with me during that time. I even believe that it was His plan that the people in my life misunderstand me and come to false conclusions about what was going on. Some of them completely turned their backs on me. It was an awful, but necessary pain for me...but I still don't want any of my children to experience it. I can't control that. I need to let go and trust God for His plan in their lives.

I have forgiven the people who hurt me and I have forgiven myself for hurting others, but sometimes I still feel the bruises in that most tender spot in my heart and have to remind myself that...

He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold. My feet have closely followed His steps; I have kept his ways without turning aside. Job 23:10-11

It is true that I went through that horrendous experience. It really ended up being one of the most pivotal points of my life. It has shaped who I am today, but through it all...I kept my faith in Christ. I have come to the conclusion that walking with Christ and learning to put Him first in your life is what life is really all about. It is not about falling in love and getting married, and having children, a great career, and then saving money so you can retire comfortably. I'm not denying that these can be truly fulfilling things in life, they can be. But life is about making the choice to follow Christ...and sticking with it, even when life throws you some curve balls.

My Famous Nephew

Seen in the break room at Pal-Mac Intermediate School.

And some of you are saying, "So what?"  (I could hear you)

What is totally cool is that the design on this little paper cup was created by my nephew, Jim. He is all grown up now and lives in St. Paul, MN and is a graphic artist. How many of you can say that you know someone who created art that was put onto paper products that are being used (and thrown away) at picnics all across the USA? Pretty cool, huh? Check out my sister's post: Designer Paper Plates

What added to the coolness of the moment was that the school's art teacher walked in and I told her about Jim's designer paper plates. I told her he grew up in that little town just north of current location. She took the paper cup to show her students and talk to them about it!

Is that cool or what?

Running

Today my husband ran a half marathon. He's done a full marathon before and several triathlons. I haven't.

I really admire runners. I admire their tenacity, their grit...their drive. I'm a little bit intimidated by them too if I'm honest about it. I just don't seem to have what it takes to be successful with running. Whenever I have run...I've always wanted it to be over. I've never loved it. I once made up my mind that I would run in a 5k. It was not an easy one either. I trained all summer...and at the end of August I ran that 5k without stopping. I did it! I wasn't very fast...in fact, I was among the slowest in my age group. After it was over...I was glad! People had told me that running would be addictive, but I didn't feel any withdrawal symptoms when I didn't run again.

Somehow, when it came to running, I didn't have the tenacity and drive and grit it takes to keep it up. I've tried to make myself love it...but can't seem to do it.

Years and years ago I dated a runner. He wanted me to become a runner too. I remember feeling my stomach knot up whenever he alluded to me taking up running. Little did he know, I was already struggling with my sense of self-worth and couldn't figure out what he saw in me. I carefully hid those feelings from him. Having him express his disappointment that I wasn't a runner didn't help matters. Later on in life, I met and married Jamie, a non-runner at the time. I remember telling him how I didn't like running. He felt the same and I remember feeling a sense of relief.

But alas there came a time when he decided to try running in our church's annual 5k race. For him it WAS addictive. He had to run another and then another one. Soon he was wracking up too many 5ks to count. They were getting too easy. So he moved on to longer races. Then he tackled his first Marathon. After that, he couldn't find contentment, so he started training and competing in triathlons. We even birthed a runner! Our son, Allen enjoys the sport very much. Jamie and I hang out with people who run and compete. Luckily for me, there are few others like me in our crowd. Two or three other wives who aren't into it either...and even a husband or two. All along, Jamie has never asked me to run...or has even hinted at it. He seems comfortable with me being who I am...but I admit that once in a while there is this 18 year old girl inside of me who struggles with a feelings of inadequacy.

I really am proud of my husband and how he has this drive to do this sport.

Peeling the Onion

I should nick name our house, "The Onion"...for whenever we peel back a layer to do some work...we discover more work that needs to be done. In this case it is the porch roof, which had been leaking. Naturally, we discovered rotting old plywood...which we removed. Then..of course we discovered rotting planks. The joists had some damage, but seemed solid enough...so we are going with them.
We hope to eventually tear off the entire porch and rebuild it...but for now, we need to focus on the problem at hand.

And of course...in the process of climbing in and out of Allen's bedroom window to access the porch roof, his windowsill seemed a bit loose. Upon investigating beneath the old metal window wrap, it was discovered that the wood itself was mostly nonexistent because of dry rot and carpenter bees. So we ditched the wrap which was over said sill...and now we need to rebuild the bottom part of the frame.

I am grateful for friends that come and volunteer to help my husband. A true blessing.

I am so thankful that progress has been made on The Onion this weekend.

My husband also casually mentioned the possibility of painting the house. Here's hoping! I have been longing to paint it for years, but have been respectful of my husband who did not want to waste time, energy and money to paint when he plans to update the siding.

Whenever I am tempted to complain about the progress of fixing up The Onion...I have to remember this:

By the world's standards, I have it pretty good.

This Old House

Do you remember this post with this picture?

Now the little house looks like this.

I'm not sure what happened to all of the things that Alicia and I glued on it in 2009. The only thing left on it is one of the keys and the penny. The wrench, ruler, gasket and two other keys have all disappeared. Where? I don't know, for I never saw any of the items on the ground. 

It is kind of sad what time has done to the little house, but yesterday I discovered that in spite of appearances, the little house has a family of chickadees living in it. 

It seems like there could be a good sermon illustration somewhere in this. Let me know if you think of one...include scripture references.

Clinging to Truth

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him. (‭Psalm‬ ‭40‬:‭1-3‬ NIV)

More Winter Outdoor Fun

Last year my husband and son, along with Ed, a family friend, went winter hiking in the Adirondacks. This year was no different. I think this might become a yearly tradition for them.

Here they are a on top of Esther Mountain.

Allen and Jamie, along the trail yesterday.

Allen standing at the peak of Whiteface Mountain.

Technology is really something, isn't it? Remember the days when we would have rolls of film to take home with us from our excursions? We would have to take them to a film developer, wait several days, pick up the pictures...only to discover that most of them were lousy. All of these pictures were taken yesterday and uploaded onto a computer last night! Hurray for technology!

I am glad they are making memories together this way.
In the meantime, I am home preparing for their arrival today. Last weekend was Allen's 20th birthday but we are celebrating it this weekend since he will be home. Yesterday was Pi day...but it was this morning that I managed to bake the banana cream pie that Allen requested.

Incidently, did you know that you can bake a cream pie using almond milk and it turns out wonderful? Allen has a lactose intolerance...and actually I suffer from that a bit too. Just so you know, almond milk makes a great cream pie and you would never know you weren't eating dairy!

They should be home in a few hours!

Another glorious day on the ski trails!

Today I went skiing again with my friends, Lisa and Martha (not my sister). The sun was again shining just gloriously. It was great to be out in God's creation. It was just beautiful...about 30°F, with a slight wind.

I discovered that a couple of the trails that Gretchen and I had skied last week were completely gone because of drifting. Here is Martha trying to blaze one of these trails...but we had to turn around. It got to the point where we had not idea where the trail was. Were we on the trail or simply in the middle of the woods? Not only that, but the snow was too deep.

You can't tell by this picture, but I was actually coming down a hill! I am pleased because I am still standing. I only fell three times.

The Meitners certainly have a beautiful place.

All of these photos come courtesy of Lisa. I wish I had taken one of her now.

Beautiful Sunny and "Warm" Day

It was a beautiful day today. It was warm! About 23°F or so! The sun was shining vibrantly. I went cross country skiing with my friend Gretchen. Just what I needed to help boost those serotonin levels. If I was as fabulous as my sister Martha is...I'd have all sorts of beautiful pictures to show you....but I don't. You will just have to use your imagination then!

Picture two ladies (both of us librarians, does this help with the image? ...just kidding)...skiing through the woods and sometimes out again...with two dogs (beagle mix, german shorthair pointer). One dog happy and excited about the whole thing...mr energy, german shorthair pointer and the other...older, slower, fatter...but pretty happy just the same, beagle mix.

I had a great time...I'm not sure why I haven't done this more often.

Mother

It was one year ago today that my mother went to her real home in heaven. I know she's in a much better place and much happier too.

(That is baby Simon in her lap. One of her great grandchildren)

Getting through this month.

I will have to say that February is not one of my favorite months. There seem to be a number of significant losses that have occurred in my life during the month of February. I'm looking forward to this month ending. Only a few more days to go.

Today I had the day off because I took Alicia up to Rochester to get her spine looked at. She has scoliosis and we need to go to the specialist from time to time. The good news is that the curvatures in her spine are not getting significantly worse. The lower curve measured slightly greater, but not alarmingly. The best news is that Alicia seems to have stopped growing. She has topped out at 5'3", (That is three and a half inches shorter than I am.) This is good news because that means that the curvature won't get any worse. I never imagined that I would end up with a daughter who is significantly shorter than I, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised since her father is on the shorter end of the spectrum.

On Monday and Tuesday I began per diem subbing once again. I am not too thrilled to end up doing that again...but I am trying to be thankful for any work. Besides that, God had a few surprises for me.

On Monday I subbed at the 3-5 building in Pal-Mac district and saw one of my former students from Dewitt Rd. On "moving up day" in June last year, I had a handful of kids who came to the library because they were moving away from Dewitt and wouldn't be attending there anymore. One of the boys, J told me that he had moved to Marion and was currently being driven to Webster to finish out the year. Just for fun we "Google-earthed" his school. We found Marion Elementary School quite easily and he seemed pleased. However, there he was on Monday at the school in Palmyra instead. Apparently his father decided that they would move over the summer once again and so Palmyra it is. I said, "We Google-earthed the wrong school, Bud." He said, "Yeah. I know."

The next day I subbed at Schlegel Road Elementary School, which is within the same district as DeWitt. When I walked into the building, I saw one of my students (M) walking down the hall. He didn't appear to notice me and I couldn't think of his name quick enough to get his attention, but it was still nice to see one familiar face. I figured that would be the end of it.  At some point during the day, I had to deliver a book to a fifth grade classroom. I walked in and waited for the teacher to notice I was there, when I noticed a boy to my left calling to me. It was another former student. (C).  He seemed genuinely happy to see me. I have to admit that he was always one of my favorites. He was quite the little reader and always willing to discuss the books he was reading and tell me which books I should definitely read next. He was also always well behaved and a bit of a scholar. He was the kind of kid who didn't mind talking to a 40 something year old lady. That type is rare...believe me. He told me that I should get a job next year at the middle school he will be attending. That one made my day! Unfortunately, that probably won't be likely as I don't anticipate the librarian at that school being done with her job.

When I returned to the library, I was expecting a special ed class to come in. In walked 3 more of my former students. These three didn't move...but are now being bussed to the new school because of the services provided there. They are autistic and nonverbal...similar to my own brother, so it is hard to say whether or not they recognized or cared that I was there. That didn't matter to me because I understand not to take it personally. It still was good to see them. The above picture is of one of these sweet little boys that came in today. I took it last year at DeWitt.

Today I am nursing a bit of a cold and can't seem to get warm. I'm not liking the prospect of being ill.

He's Got Your Back!

Jeremiah 29:11-13

11 For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for well-being, and not for calamity, in order to give you a future and a hope. 12 When you call out to me and come and pray to me, I’ll hear you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart. 

Frozen

We just finished taking the tour of Grove City College. It is about -1°F (I just checked) so we were sufficiently frozen. Audra had her interview and I think we were sufficiently impressed by the place. My memories of taking a tour myself back in 1985 are pretty faded. There are a number of new buildings and I just don't have many clear memories to compare it.

Allen is still trying to convince Audra to go to Gordon with him.

I'm glad that my kids are having the opportunity to look at different colleges in order to make a decision. I really didn't have that when I was planning to go away to study. The only reason I had the Grove City tour was that an interview was required. My father obligingly drove me there for it and the tour was included. I will say that it was a bit of a turning point for my father's attitude about me going to school in the first place. He seemed more supportive after that, but my parents still had absolutely no clue about how to help me find a college that fit me well. As it turned out, I never got another tour anywhere and showed up to the college I ended up choosing, to see it for the first time as I registered for classes. I remember feeling a bit disappointed. It wasn't what I thought it would be...but I knew I had to decide to like it and make it work. I didn't want my father to say, "See? I told you so." It was a rather stressful way to start the semester. I decided to like it. What choice did I have? Attitude is everything. I'm so grateful that I know better than to put my kids through that.  All in all...it ended up working for me. God was near me as I started the college journey and I got an education.

We are in a hotel room...warming up with hot chocolate and tea. Happy to find warmth and shelter.

God is Near

I am thinking of the Conrow family today. Last week they held their 6 year old daughter as she died from brain cancer. I can only imagine the great sorrow they are feeling. I've been in touch with Amanda's grandfather, who was my high school geometry teacher. He was a wonderful man of God and always encouraged me in my walk with the Lord. He sent me an email this morning with heartfelt words from his daughter, Liz.

I've been broken-hearted before. I've been crushed in spirit. I remember in high school when my brother passed away, I taped a Bible verse on the wall next to my bed...so I would see it as soon as I woke up in the morning. I did the same thing in college during a difficult time.

Psalm 34:18

18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

I know that God has given me a heart that is able to empathize with others...so in a way, thinking about their sorrow brings back some memories of my own sorrows. I don't want to think only of myself during this time. I don't always know how to transfer my empathy into a proper way of caring for others.

Just pray for this family.  They have buried their little 6 year old daughter this past week. Their arms feel empty and their hearts are broken.

Last Day At Martha Brown

"And after they duck taped my husband to the tree..."

So why would anyone have any reason to begin a sentence like that?....read on, my friend!

Yesterday, it was my last day in Fairport CSD as school librarian at Martha Brown Middle School. I threw a little party in my homeroom to say goodbye. I brought in a gallon of cider and some timbits from Tim Horton's. One of the boys said, "Mrs.B can you show us another video that your husband's company made?" So I showed them one of my favorites. Snow Day from 2010.




After they finished watching it, I had to tell this story.

"After they duck taped my husband to the tree, a Canandaigua school bus came by. The driver stopped the bus, opened the door and said, 'Is everything okay here?' He then called in a report about it to the bus garage."

 I'm not sure if the report made it to the police after that...but that whole incident just makes watching the video all the more amusing to me. Dave and Jason LaBarge certainly make the work environment fun at the company they own.

Anyway...the kids all really enjoyed the video and I hope you do too. I will really miss it at Martha Brown. I cannot say enough about that school. I thought the staff was great! The students were too. I loved every day of my job there. I honestly can say that there was not one single day that I felt like I didn't just love my job!

P.S. I only showed them Snow Day....not the video that immediately follows it.

Those Silly Librarian's Kids!

Because I Know....He Holds the Future.

...I can face uncertain days because He lives.

I have two weeks left at my job. I have just loved showing up there every day. I have wonderful coworkers and the kids are great too!  Yesterday, it was Martha Brown Day and everyone was encouraged to wear Fairport attire.  So, I went to school in borrowed clothing. It was a fun day. I wish I had gotten a picture of myself with my two TAs. I hope I have occasion again to wear Fairport clothing to a school some day.

I will really miss it there when I leave. I wonder what will happen next with me. I will trust The Lord.

On the home front...it was Audra's 18th birthday on Thursday. It just seems so bittersweet that she is growing up. I'm really proud of the wonderful young lady that she has become. She's almost done living here full time...which is hard to think about. She has been accepted to all 5 colleges that she applied to...which doesn't really surprise me. She is near the top of her class. We shall see what the future brings. I have a bit of anxiety thinking about it...but remind myself that everything is in God's hands.

He has proven to me that He knows the past, present and future and we can trust it all to him. I wish I could tell my story to you...about how I know this.

In a few weeks, Audra and I will go visit Grove City College...which ironically was the college I wanted to go to at age 18. I tried to transfer there. I was not accepted...but not really rejected either. I was put on a waiting list because they had made their first choices of acceptance and I missed the first cut. In any case...my name never came to the top of the list, but it was in God's hands. He knew it. He knew where I would go and what would become of me.

In the same way...he knows all about my Audra. She is his first.

Allen called tonight. The school he has been working at in Boston was closed Tuesday through Thursday because of the big snow storm there. He has an interview at Gordon College on Thursday. Audra has been accepted there. Allen is trying to convince his sister to attend there with him. I think it is wonderful that my kids get along so well that they want to go to the same school. I hope they do both end up at the same college. It would certainly make things easier in many ways. Allen has not applied to Grove City and does not plan to. God knows all about the future of my Allen as well.

Alicia is enjoying her sophomore year in high school. Right now, I don't think she is thinking too much about college. Need I say the obvious? Okay, I will. God knows all about my Alicia's future too.

I am really proud of all three of my kids. God has been so good to me...there once was a time when I didn't believe that anything would ever be good in my life. I was so deeply depressed and broken-hearted. God knew all about it. He also knew about my future and he still does.

Sufferings

I consider that our present sufferings are not worthy of comparing with the glory that is to be revealed in us.   Romans 8:18

I have been thinking about this verse a lot lately. I know of a family who is suffering right now. They are watching their 6 year old daughter die of brain cancer. Amanda is in her last days here on this earth. I have been following this story for quite some time now. Please pray for this family.

My Biggest Fan

So, for a quite a while now I've been noticing on my map that I often get a visitor from Victor, NY. That's two towns over...just so you know. I've thought, "What reader lives in Victor?...Someone from my church, perhaps?  But, who?" It has been a mystery for many months.

I found out who it is! It's me! LOL! I guess my iPad thinks it's in Victor. So...that means I'm my biggest fan!

I amuse myself sometimes!

Back to Work!

I am so excited to be able to go back to work tomorrow! I love my job. It was originally supposed to be over on December 19th. I am so thankful that I still have a job to go to tomorrow...and one that I really enjoy too!

On a not so happy note, my son left today for Boston. We drove him to Syracuse to get on the bus there. We will miss him very much, but we sure are proud of him in what he has chosen to devote himself to this year.

Happy Holidays!

From left to right: my husband Jamie, daughter Audra, daughter Alicia, son Allen and me

We have been blessed to have all of our kids home. Allen is home from Boston where he has been working with City Year as he rethinks his college plans. He has been trying to figure out what college to transfer to for the fall. Meanwhile, Audra is a senior and is exploring her options for college choices for the upcoming year as well. Alicia is a sophomore. I also am not sure where The Lord will take me as far as schools in the fall. Life is unknown right now. I thank God that it is not unknown to Him.

Living by the seat of my pants while learning to trust Him...as usual. The lesson never ends!

Merry Christmas

May the gift of Jesus be felt by you this season.

What to do with an old book

I've been busying myself making Scandinavian Woven Stars.  

My first attempt.

My second star. 

They are intended to be Christmas gifts for my wonderful TAs in the library in Fairport.

They each took me about two hours to make.

I like the second one better than the first.

If you are interested in making one yourself, go to an antique shop, 

buy yourself an old book,

And then go to this tutorial.

Have fun!

Enjoy This Year's Christmas Video!

My husband is the production manager at a small company that makes professional videos. The company has made a number of local commercials, training videos for companies, documentaries, etc.  They have done work for Xerox, Aldi, International Food Network, and Gould Pumps to name a few. In fact, Xerox even sent them to France and Germany to create videos for their international division.

Every year they create a Christmas video for the amusement of their family, friends, and clients.   So here is this year's video.

Just for the record, my husband is the shorter of the two Animal Kontrol guys and the one who flings himself into the tree.

Oh yeah...I almost forgot. One of the very important jobs my husband has (along with everyone else who works for LaBarge) is to spot inconsistencies and other mistakes during video work. In this year's video....they created one on purpose. See if you can spot it.

Learning to Listen and Wait

I have been trying to wait on the Lord and listen to where He is directing me. It is not always easy to hear what he is saying. I've had times in my life where a message has come to me loud and clear. Unfortunately, I have not always heeded that message. Other times I need to be still and wait and listen. I think there are even times when His voice is never clear and we simply need to pray, use our best judgement and then trust. I'm trying to do better. I was waiting for direction for the next rock to help me across the stream of life.

Penfield central schools called me and wondered if I would do a LT sub position for them. I couldn't just say yes because it overlapped with the assignment I am currently doing. They were willing to consider holding the position for me if they didn't find anyone to fill it. Would the next rock say "Penfield?"  On Friday before Thanksgiving, Penfield called again to inform me that they had found a LT sub to fill the position. No...that would not be the next rock.

In the small city where I live, I am in a position to travel south, east or west to any of the rural districts in those areas. I think several of them would be great to work at...but some of them make me a little leery. My sister in law informed me about an immediate opening in a rural district near her. It is about a 45 minute commute down country roads. I admit that I wasn't very thrilled. Is this what the Lord wanted? Would the next rock be this particular district?  I really wrestled with this one. I almost didn't apply. I really didn't want to work there. What kind of faith did I have if I wasn't even willing to apply? What if God was sending me there and I wasn't being willing to go? I applied...and waited. I got called for an interview. I went. I interviewed. I walked out of that school really feeling like I did not want to work there. I just didn't feel comfortable with this district. Was this the message? My gut feeling? I had some legitimate concerns. I discussed it with Jamie to see what he thought. He had the same reservations about me working for this particular district. I finally decided that if I was offered the job, I would turn it down, but I wanted peace that this was what I really should do because I still wasn't sure. Was I just being a snob after working for two very reputable districts in the Rochester area?

An answer came today. My principal came to me and asked me if I would stay on at MB to allow the woman I am subbing for to extend her leave by a month and a half.  I said yes and I feel peace knowing that is the rock I will step on next. It still isn't permanent...but somehow I know this is right.

I am Famous, Just in Case You Didn't Know

It has become a tradition that "Aunt Priscilla" makes turkey soup the day after Thanksgiving. Since we also had ham yesterday, my husband convinced me that I should make the potato pea and ham soup that I am famous for, besides the traditional turkey soup. Yes...I am famous, in case you don't know. (Said with a smile of amusement) Here's the story behind the soup.

When Jamie and I were on our honeymoon, we stayed at bed and breakfast places in Vermont and New Hampshire.  We had a fall wedding, so it was really a perfect place to go. We were wandering around Stowe, VT and went into a little country store. We immediately were tantalized by an amazing smell. It was coming from the deli section of this store....a potato soup with some ham and peas in it. It tasted amazing! We wanted the recipe. The lady in the store would not give it to us. It was her secret which she wasn't about to share with anyone. Jamie guessed at the predominate spices and the lady said, "Yeah...okay that's in it," but wouldn't give more information.

We went home and decided to try to figure out how to make that soup on our own. We came up with one that was pretty darned close. A couple of years later, I decided to mail it in to Country Magazine. This was all before the internet, mind you. I never heard a thing from the editors of the magazine and eventually pretty much forgot all about sending it in. Years passed. We had at least two children and moved to a different part of town. One day, the phone rang and it was a lady congratulating me on the publication of my soup recipe. She had been reading her Country Extra Magazine and noticed that one of the recipes had been submitted by woman named Priscilla B______ of  Cdga, NY. She was so excited to see a recipe from someone in her town that she told her husband. He promptly got the phone book out and said he'd find out where I lived just for fun. It turned out that I lived on the same road as them! We were living on a country road at the time and they lived about two miles down the road from us. I still had never heard anything from the magazine and no longer even subscribed to it. I had to call up the magazine and ask for a back issue (March 1999).

Now, years later, you can google my name and add potato soup to the google search and it's all over the place. Looking at the published recipe is somewhat amusing because, while it is basically my recipe...I never really measure anything. I never have. The recipe has exact measurements throughout. I also changed how I create the thick and creamy milk base. I no longer use milk. Instead, I use heavy cream...which vastly improves it. More calories and higher fat, but I've never been one to worry too much about it. Everything in moderation. So, here is a link to my famous soup. Unfortunately many of the links have my first name spelled wrong and there are even some sites that refer to it as being "potatoe" soup. I can assure you, that I have never put any toes in it.

http://yumdom.com/new-england-potato-soup/12429

Oh...it was also published in a book called "The Best of Country Cooking 2000." (I think that was the year.)  So there you have it, and now you can say, "I knew her when...."

Merry Chri......I mean, Happy Thanksgiving!

We made it to Jamie's brother's house in Pennsylvania last night without incident. No snow or any traffic trouble. This morning we awoke to falling heavy snow. It has accumulated about a half a foot...the heavy, wet kind.  Here is Cody (my nephew) snow blowing the driveway. He is 14 years old.

It is smelling good here. Kevin cooked the turkey already so that tomorrow he can bake the ham and everything else will be cooking too. The pie that Cody helped me make is baking in the oven. I always wanted kids who liked hanging with me in the kitchen and cooking too. It sounded like such a bonding thing to do.  It turns out that my own kids aren't very interested. Cody was nice company though.

Step Here

My life has become a faith walk...I suppose that is the way it ought to be. I keep picturing the crossing of a stream. The Lord just keeps showing me where to step next. The rock I'm stepping on now says, "Martha Brown Middle School" on it. I'm not sure what the next rock will say.

Hope you read this

I just discovered this essay that my 19 year old son wrote.
Please read, and enjoy. I'm very proud of him.
http://beavercamp.wordpress.com/2014/10/03/walk-a-mile-in-my-moccasins/

Come to think of it, he is referring to an experience that happened the time I dropped him off at camp, which I blogged about here: http://scillyspot.blogspot.com/2007/08/hello-muddahello-fadda.html

He was actually 12 at the time.

I like my new job

For those of you who don't know...and actually care (all 2 of you), I got a job at Fairport Central School District. It is another LT sub position for librarian, this time at a middle school.  I've been there a week and really like it.

I've got two full time library TAs and they are just awesome. Here is the welcome sign they had up at the circulation desk when I walked in on the first morning. They are both so friendly and helpful.  Really, everyone I've met there has been really great so far!
The regular librarian is out on maternity leave and plans to come back after Christmas break, so it'll be a short stint, but I'm happy to be working in my field.

Food for thought from Epictetus

Practice then from the start to say to every harsh impression, "You are an impression, and not at all the thing you appear to be." Then examine it and test it by these rules you have, and firstly, and chiefly, by this: whether the impression has to do with the things that are up to us, or those that are not; and if it has to do with the things that are not up to us, be ready to reply, "It is nothing to me." A quote from Eptictetus.

I don't usually quote Greek philosophers, but in my Bible commentary today it referred briefly to the teachings of Eptictetus. It said no more, so I needed to check out who he was using Wikipedia. It was mentioned that Paul's teachings to the Romans about obeying what the law said really should have been very familiar to them since many of them had heard and followed the teachings of Eptictetus. "Who is this guy?" I wondered...so I looked him up.

Basically, what the quote is saying is that there are external factors that we cannot control in our lives. We cannot control how others act, when and to what society we are born, the government that rules us, etc....but we can control our internal attitudes and thus, how we react to the external. Paul says we have the law of God written on our hearts. We KNOW his laws; how He wants us to act. What He wants us to do. The question is whether or not we will choose to obey Him outwardly (and inwardly too).

I have been struggling with who I am and who others perceive me to be. It has been a struggle for me for awhile lately and cumulated with more thinking due to a recent event.  Am I really a good person? Am I someone people react positively towards? Can they see God in me?

Becoming a Minimalist

Becoming a minimalist is looking more and more appealing  to me all the time.

http://www.becomingminimalist.com/becoming-minimalist-start-here/

Unemployed....in Greenland.

There is no other reason for my adding "in Greenland" other than I just love  The Princess Bride.

I am unemployed and trying to listen to the voice of God. The voice of truth and trusting in Him. That has been a battle for me lately. I forget to be thankful, to remember that God's got my back, and that I really have enough and that He has a plan and that I can trust Him.

This week, I attended the funeral of the sister of a dear friend of mine. It was an unusual situation. Hard to explain, so I won't bother. I'm trying to remember to be faithful in prayer for her family.

I also learned of a tragic accident that took place in the life of Susana, the woman who is the writer of this blog. The accident happened on July 31, but I didn't read of it until Monday evening when I decided to catch up on my blog reading. My heart is aching for her. Please keep her and her precious family in prayer at this time.

Yesterday I subbed at the school I left in June. One of the librarian's babies was sick. It was so good to be back there. It felt like I never left. Also...it was very cool to know almost all of the kids' names and have them know me.  I had missed them! I had a good day and I loved seeing all of my former colleagues. It was also a good feeling knowing that they seemed genuinely glad to see me too.

I really want to be employed as a school librarian again. It is hard wanting something that seems out of reach at the moment. Trying to count my blessings and use my time off wisely.

One Final West End Creamery Picture

My iPad is limited in what it will allow me to do. Here is one more picture from our trip that it refused to add to my last post.
All three girls in the rocking chair.

Trip to Boston

My son is living in Boston for the year. He is now a part of City Year. I'm sure he will be learning a lot. It's hard with him being so far away. He's growing up! Meanwhile, my daughter Audra is a senior this year and has expressed interest in visiting Gordon College, in Wenham, Massachusetts. So, what were we to do but plan a road trip?
Friday morning we had a lovely tour of the campus. I wish I had a more impressive photo to show you. I also wish that we could have brought Allen along, but he had to work .

Later that evening, we went to Allen's apartment and took him out to dinner in the city of Boston. We ended up at an Irish pub where the food was outstanding. I ordered Guinness stew. I did not take a picture of it. (I said that for the benefit of my sisters)
The next day we met up with Allen in central Boston and explored the city. We visited Captain Jackson's Historical Chocolate Shop, which I highly recommend. I took lousy pictures all day because I didn't think to remember to and also because it was sunny and I really couldn't see the display all that well.
Here is a really bad one of Allen at Quincy Market.

Our visit ended all too soon and we headed back to Rochester around noon on Sunday, but we didn't leave Massachusetts without stopping and visiting The West End Creamery and Family Farm. I grew up with Becky, who owns it with her husband Greg. We had not seen one another in about 30 years or more.  It was fun to see her and catch up. If you are ever in the area, I would definitely plan a visit there. They have done a wonderful job establishing a business and the ice cream is delicious.

Here is Becky and me on the rocking chair.

Audra and Sarah (we brought her along to visit Gordon too), enjoy ice cream.

I loved our trip

Here is the lovely view from little whiteface last week.

Stag Brook Falls at the bottom of Whiteface Mountain.

Martha and I at the top of Mount Jo.

At a coffee shop in Lake Placid that overlooks Mirror Lake.

I love summer

This summer has been wonderful and I don't want it to end! I love not having to plan lessons and not feeling stressed about being prepared for classes. I love the sunshine and the freedom. I love nature and the lake near my house.

There are only a few more weeks left. The Adirondacks will be visited  this weekend. Looking forward to taking Martha there. It will be wonderful.

Goodbye DeWitt

I only have 4 more days working at DeWitt Road Elementary School. I have loved it there. No job in sight for me for the fall.

May Day Boost

I'm a little late posting this but got this bouquet of flowers for May Day from some students! It was the boost that I needed.

Boat Houses on Icy Canandaigua Lake

Mom and Aunt Margie

This wasn't the picture I was going to post here, but I found it in my files and decided to do it. This was just taken in December.

Her Ride Arrived

The other night while my mother sat at the dinner table, she asked my sister and brother-in-law if someone would be coming to take her home.  Her dementia had been increasing during the last week and my sister tried to tell her that she would be staying there for the night (she has lived with them for the last 3 1/2 years.)  It turned out that this time she was right.  The Lord came in the early hours of yesterday and personally ushered her home.
(Welcome home, Mom-I love you)

I hadn't realized how similar my post was to my sister's.  For a more complete story click here.

Staying Away From Edges

It was a cold day...but not as cold as it has been. It has come to my attention that I have not been living a very balanced life and I'm going to try to better. I've been on break this week, but went into into school Friday to do a little work. I was a bit stressed out. I was greeted by C, an older black man who is a custodian at my school. I have also discovered that he is a Christian. He immediately could tell that I was a bit stressed. He told me to trust The Lord...that The Lord has everything in his control and that The Lord has a plan.  He told me that he would pray for me. He also mentioned getting exercise and eating right. Ummmm. How did he know?
I felt such a release of tension. C is right. I need to trust The Lord. I have been giving the enemy a foothold. Today, my devotional was perfect....naturally it was on the same theme that The Lord has been whispering to me for months. If you ever read Jesus Calling then you know that it talked about the pitfall of self pity. It is a pit that is deep and once you are in there, it is hard to get out of it. It is best to stay away from its edges, which crumble easily.  If you get too near the edge, down you go. The enemy knows that this time of year is especially hard for me and he loves reminding me of sad things that have happened in the past and about people that I have loved and lost. I get too close to the edge and WHOOOSH! Down I go. I need to hold onto The Lord and the lifeline that He is. I need to hold onto His truth.
With that in mind, I went for a wonderful walk from my house to Canandaigua Lake. (Only about 2 miles) I walked all along the edge of it in Kershaw Park and then on the pier. This year the lake froze end to end. It only does that about once every 7 years or so. I missed my opportunity to actually walk out onto it earlier this week when it was still about -4. It is probably still pretty solid in the center...but was thawing on the edges. I wasn't about to test it. It was good for me to get out in the sunshine. Jesus, sunshine, exercise and watching that I don't eat the wrong things....those are good things.

Oh...and staying away from edges!

Caldecott Contender Peruse and Reading to Self in the Library

 I finally am posting.  I am enjoying my job as a librarian at an elementary school.  All week the kids have been perusing Caldecott contenders. Each student got a chance to vote for what they thought would be a winner.  After voting, students got a chance to "read to self" which is what the students in these pictures are doing.

Which one will win? No one knows for sure, but favorites at our school included Mr Wuffles, written and illustrated by David Wiesner, and The Matchbox Diary written by Paul Fleischman and illustrated by Bagram Ibatoulline.
On Monday, the winners of this award and others will be announced by the American Library Association.

Trying out my new iPad air that I got for Christmas. I will eventually figure it out.

MerryChristmas, everyone!

Getting Ready

This is going to be very brief.

It has been very busy in the library trying to get settled.  I have made great strides in turning it into a workable space.  I have also made progress on getting the library cards ready.  Thankfully I had a little help yesterday with that.

I have begun processing the new books...have a long way to go, but luckily it is not a priority.

My real break though in getting prepared for this school year came in the form of an email from the lead librarian at another elementary school in the district.  It included her cell phone number and the encouragement to call her with any questions I had.  That was an absolute godsend to me!  She came over to the school and spent about 4 hours with me helping to get me started.

Life Changes Rather Quickly

My entire life has changed in less than one week.  On Friday (8/16), sometime while I was hiking in the wilderness in the Adirondack Mts (see above photo taken from Bald Mountain near Old Forge, NY), I received a phone call from a school district looking for a last minute LT sub who would be willing to work until about February. I was out of range of course and hadn't even brought my cell phone with me, but I got the message on my home phone at about 11:00 pm.

To make a long story short, I got the job.  In less than a week, I have gotten a job as a LT substitute school librarian.  I'm excited, but also nervous. It is a k-5 school in the very district that I grew up in.

I finally got a chance to get in to the school yesterday.  I was surprised, but not shocked to see that the library was a bit "turned upside down." Apparently, the staff needed another space for someone to use so they opted to eliminate the library office.  So they emptied the office, putting it's contents onto carts and such and crowded it all around the circulation desk. Eeeeek!  My first task is to make the library a usable space.  Luckily my principal was wonderful enough to help me figure out what to do with some of the things.  It has a long way to go though.  I do hope that at least one of my library aides can help me with organizing in a cute and attractive yet functional way.  I feel a bit overwhelmed by it, especially when I have other matters to attend to!

Task 1: Make library space usable. (This might be ongoing for a bit)

Task 2: Make sure that the library cards are all ready for the kids.  I am thankful that a woman named Sally from Monroe BOCES will be coming on Tuesday morning to help me with Follet Destiny.  While I have used it before and have figured out many things on my own, I feel like the task of getting ready with efficiency calls for a little more instruction.

Task 3: Plan lessons for 1st week. Includes deciding on class routines, etc.

Task 4: Compose introduction letter to the teachers.

Task 5: Start processing the new box of books that was shipped to the school over the summer and catalog and process the dedicated books.

That is what I need to work on.  I am truly thankful that I have some library help.  Apparently I have two part time library aides (One comes in the morning, the other in the afternoon).

Also, ironically, the LT sub that I am replacing was offered a full time position in Greece.  I believe that it is very likely that she is going to be working in the same library I just finished working at.  Assuming this is true, I hope that she is able to work well with Mrs. R. She will need a firm hand with her.

I also have figured out that the last LT sub was absolutely fantastic.  This means that I have some pretty big shoes to fill.  I am a little nervous about that.  Please keep me in your prayers, that I will learn a tremendous amount of stuff so I can be fabulous too!

Time is Swiftly Going By

The summer is nearing the end.  This weekend, we take Allen to college...but first we pick him up from the summer camp job he has been working at in the Adirondack Mountains. Audra is up there too for the week as a camper at the same camp. On Sunday we take him to Roberts Wesleyan.  in just under two weeks, my youngest daughter has orientation for her first year at the high school.

I have had 6 interviews this summer and so far have not gotten a job. This is not what I planned for when I went back to get my master's degree.  I'm just not sure what to do next.  In the past 2 1/2 years, I have had 18 interviews.  One of those 18 interviews ended up with me getting a long term sub job.  (I had another long term sub job that I got without even having an interview.)  This was the year that I felt like there might really be some hope getting a job as a school librarian.  What do I do next?  This all hurts too much.

The Wrong Questions?

I think I have been asking the wrong questions lately.
Lord, what do YOU want me to do with my life?  How do I get there? 

Hope that this blesses you as well

Today I am encouraging everyone to go and read this post by a woman named Susanna.  Susanna lives in Pennsylvania.  She and her husband Joseph have adopted two special needs children from an eastern European orphanage.  They also have several natural born children, including a one with Down Syndrome.

I liked the post because of the devotional content of it, especially in light of the fact that the Lord has been showing me the harmful effects of negative thinking and speaking.

Too much?

All I want to be is a librarian somewhere.
Is that too much to ask?
Why don't I ever get picked?
I feel like I'm back in gym class...waiting to be picked for someone's team.  I was always picked either last, or next to last.
Wondering whether or not there is something blatantly wrong with me that everyone else is just too polite to tell me about.

Hello?

Why am I here?
What is the purpose of my life?
Does anyone even care?

Not Very Faithful

I have not been very faithful keeping this blog.  All sorts of great events have been happening and being undocumented.

My son Allen graduated from high school.  Since then he has left to work for the summer at a Christian camp in the Adirondack Mountains.  Please keep him in prayer as he counsels the boys who have him as their leader.  This week it is boys ages 8-10.

I got a job as the summer school librarian in Geneva.  It is a very odd job. I'm a Middle School Librarian being housed at an elementary school because of construction at the middle school building.  On the first day, I walked into the library and discovered that it is being used as the elementary school's summer school office.  I have been pushed into a back office.I am very isolated from the actual middle school classes which are being held upstairs.  I feel very awkward around the ladies who are working in the "summer school office."  I feel like an intruder...which is a bit ironic since I am the librarian and it is really a library that we are in.  Not too many of the middle school teachers are really interested in getting any resources from the library...so it has been a bit quiet.

I came close to getting a job.  I was one of three final candidates for a library job at an elementary school about a half hour drive from my house.  Someone else got it.  I'm trying not to be too hard on myself for that one.