Friday, December 30, 2005

I Feel a Blog Coming On

I finally have the computer to myself so I can blog! My husband is a college student (he went back to finish after 20 years). He has the week off and has been writing a paper. We have 2 computers but the other one is a pain in the neck since the keyboard doesn't work all that well. Half the time the shift key doesn't work or it will double letters...etc. I'm constantly having to go back and correct which really spoils creative flow with words...not that I'm really a talented writer anyway.

Anyway...I have been having a nice week off with the kids. We haven't done all that much but sometimes that is enough. The house is an absolute disaster! Clutter everywhere. I'm not really the greatest housekeeper all the time. That goes with my creative side. I am an artist and so right brained. I've just been commissioned to do a painting of cats on an old large milk can. It's going to be great fun...if I ever get my other commission works done first. I have a cupboard I need to paint flowers on and a mural in a teenage boy's room. I am so disorganized! Art supplies everywhere..and items to paint everywhere. Yesterday I brought home a metal bucket to paint. My husband just groans when I bring new things home to add to the growing pile in the basement. I had to bring it home! Denise was just going to throw it away! So I will add it to the pile of things I am collecting. Pieces of barn wood, an old chicken feeder, an antique metal container, a child's desk, wood, a wonderful old shoe shine box...the list goes on!

I spent the evening drawing in my sketch book...trying to plan out the cats. Meanwhile my house is a mess. So much clutter I need to get rid of...which makes me stop and think about the clutter in my mind and heart. What needs to be cleared out, Lord? Anger? Worry? Impatience? Distrust? Unforgiveness? I do so wish to be more like Jesus.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23-24

Anyway... gotta start weeding out that pile...or atleast start painting and selling it!

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Do you have a cat?

Today I took my two daughters ages 8 and 6 to visit my brother in his group home. He is 47 and has severe autism. It was his annual Christmas party. Tim doesn't speak. If he looks you in the face and makes eye contact, that's great. Anyway...we ate cookies and drank punch. We sat with him at the table as he worked on a toy shape sorter. Some of the other residents talked more. A grey haired man named Gary came up to me and asked, "Do you have a cat?" I said ,"no" He said, "Do you have a dog?" I said "Yes"...he said, "I have a cat." I said, "what's your cat's name?" He said, "Snowball." Then he moved on to my sister Martha and the conversation started again, "Do you have a cat?"...What is bittersweet about it is that I remember Gary from last year and having the exact same conversation with him. There was another girl named Lisa. She talked to Audra and asked her for a hug. I am so glad my daughter smiled and gave a hug willingly. I was so proud of her. This is the same child who rolls her eyes at me. My father and mother were there and as usual my father brought along one of his stringed instruments. This is something he does quite regularly there. Lisa said, "Are we going to sing?" So my father got his banjo out and started playing Christmas carols. There were several residents who joined in...and honestly from a musician's standpoint it sounded terrible! Many of them were singing terribly off key and out of tune. Some slurred the words or just rocked and clapped their hands (off beat of course). But I got to thinking that from God's standpoint it sounded beautiful and precious. I was very blessed by the visit and wondered why I don't visit there more often.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Freezing Rain

Scilly's Spot

Tonight everything was cancelled due to freezing rain. My daughter was very ticked off that her swim practice was cancelled as she is on a swim team. I tried to assure her that it was not my fault and I had not caused this problem. She eventually cheered up...but later was angry with me because I made her put her prescription ointment and cream on before bed. She has excema which worstens in winter. I should tell you that she is only 8 years old. If she is rolling her eyes already at I in for trouble when she actually becomes a teen? I love her so much. I just want her to be everything God has created her to be. I wish the same for my other children.

Scilly's Spot

I'm feeling a little bit frustrated today. My house is a disaster. I just can't seem to get on top of it. I'm also tired of living in a house that is under construction. I just want a house that is finished that I can be proud to invite people over to! Is that too much to ask?
It just seems like my time is constantly demanded by everyone and I can't organize it to get everything done. It seems like I should be better at this whole homemaker, mom, wife, me thing! Right now as I am writing this, my dog is crying and nudging my arm because even he wants something from me. To be fed? To go out? I just can't do it all!