Friday, January 09, 2009

Trying to Understand


I have been frittering away my time before school officially begins. Actually...I have done some reading of the textbooks that have come. I am still waiting for 2 textbooks to arrive. I have made some poor decisions while ordering and am suffering the consequences. I am nervous about my textbooks not being here and also about the amount of work I need to do. I think my load looks heavier than it was last semester and that scares me.

I also dropped my glasses and now there is a small crack in the left lens. I did not think it was a big deal because I could look past it, but now it looks like it is growing...kind of the same way a crack on a windshield grows.

Isn't this a lovely picture that I took of St. John's Episcopal bell tower here in my town? I love the way it is framed by all the bare branches. In two months it will be two years ago that I dropped my camera and broke the flash. I have been living with it that way ever since. I am getting good at making do...but I must get better at it. With me going to grad school, we are going farther and farther into debt. Hopefully...it is a step backwards to get ahead in the long run. In the meantime, I will wear the clothes I already have, not go to Starbucks, cancel my membership to Curves, cook using boneless chicken and ground beef, walk instead of drive, eat in,...and whatever else I need to do to cut expenses. I really have everything I need...but as a typical American I think I need more.

"I am not saying this because I am in need, For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
-The apostle Paul,
Philippians 4: 11-13

Admittedly, I am still trying to understand the secret that Paul did. I struggle so much with it.

9 comments:

Kim said...

I can understand how you are getting stressed out by the school work load. I know so many people with kids who are going back to school though and I'm impressed by that. One of them has 4 kids under age 8, can you imagine? But it will be worth it in the long run and it won't last forever. I truly think that the more we have, the more we want. My husband is one of the most content people I know. I think it stems from him growing up not having a lot of extras. I think the best thing sometimes is just to go for a walk. Maybe you can pray at the same time (although I usually get too distracted by all that I see).

Wanda said...

Don't we all try to understand Paul... I think after teaching "Calm My Anxious Heart" a number of times, and this is the heart of the book.... Paul uses the word learned several times.... I think being content takes Practice, Practice, Practice. Most things we "learn" didn't happen over night. The very fact that you are desiring this, is proof you are already practicing it.

Sorry, didn't mean to preach. But since I did, shall I take an offering.... (((just kidding). I struggle and practice this one all the time.

Love and Hugs
Wanda

Audra said...

Just 2 let u know, i am back (for good!) (i hope)

Joe Fool said...

Arg, I have to buy my books for the new semester soon :(

Audra said...

news flash!
coke is back and better then ever! (tell all your friends and family too)

Rachel said...

I hope the new schedule isn't as bad as it looks. It must be difficult doing school and having a family to serve also, although I have no doubt you will do well. I don't even know how long grad school is for you...

Gudl said...

My thoughts on this...
if you are in God's will (have you prayed about the decision to go back to school?) HE will provide...somehow.
Do not worry.
Best wishes! Love, Gudrun

Priscilla said...

I am very certain that this is God's will for me. Thanks, Gudrun.

Bethany said...

Um, off the subject slightly... Look at Josh's picture on my blog. What do you think, oh Mother of sensitive skinned.