Friday, April 26, 2013

I Have Issues

I just read this post over here by Ken Davis and it really spoke to my heart.  It describes me to a T.  I have had some ridiculous moments of explosive anger over the stupidest things.  I just had one the other day in fact.  This is the first step I am taking to admit that I have anger issues...
I have come away from those moments thinking..."What is WRONG with me?"  I also know that I wasn't always like this.
I have been a terrible example to my children.
I've been thinking quite a bit about who I am and what impact I am making on others.  The father of some friends of ours past away suddenly in his home last week.  It was totally unexpected and a shock to our church.  He was a pillar in our church and community. I just can't believe that Dr. Snyder is gone. Last Saturday, we went to his funeral service.  Person after person got up and told of this man's gentleness, generosity, hospitality and kindness.  He will truly be missed.  I cannot think of one single negative thing about him.  It has gotten me thinking about what would be said at my funeral some day.  I'm not sure if I would be spoken of as highly as Dr. Snyder.

I know I have a lot of frustration and anger that has built up over the years.  I usually try to pretend that it does not matter.  It's not working.

4 comments:

Martha said...

I have issues too, but God is working on them.

Rachel said...

We all have issues, that's why we need God so much. There have been times where I've been a poor example to my kids too. Prayerfully, God will fill in where I fall short. I love you.

Priscilla said...

Thanks, Rach.

Priscilla said...

I'm coming back and commenting on this. I know what my anger stems from. It comes from an unresolved broken relationship and the pain I still have from that 29 years later. I just want that person to know what really happened. The truth. That I did not betray him. That it was something that was really out of my control. That I had an illness that I didn't understand all of those years ago. I DID NOT CHEAT ON YOU! I hate that you don't know this and that you think I'm a person who betrayed you. It shouldn't matter... but it hurts. It hurts, it is not fair, and I feel angry about it sometimes.