Adjusting

It's been difficult.  I'm not sure I will get used to it.  I have caught myself glancing over to where Sherman's water dish always was...a habit I formed making sure he always had enough.  When we were pulling in the driveway tonight after being out as a family, I thought about how we didn't leave a light on for Sherman.  A split second later I knew he was gone.  Today I was the first person home in the afternoon.  It suddenly occurred to me that I was alone in the house...I haven't been alone in the house for the past 9 years because Sherman was always with me.  I can't imagine taking a walk without him with me.  My walks always included him unless it was a destiny walk-meaning I was going somewhere that he could not come (like to the library or a store)  I think about how he is slowly being erased from the house.  When I vacuum, a little more hair of his disappears.  My family room carpet was vacuumed...and it still looks clean.  You'd think that would be a good thing, but I'd rather have the fur accumulating. There is a small pile of dusty fur in the corner of the living room by the book case.  I haven't managed to vacuum it up.  I'm also used to him jumping up to check the floor for food offerings when we finished dinner.  He always sat just outside the kitchen door.  We would read the scriptures right after finishing the meal and he would always get ready at that time to bolt into the kitchen because he knew it was almost time.  I used to call him "Scripture Dog."  When I checked the mailbox today, there was a small package for us from our vet.  It was Sherman's paw print in some hardened clay.